MiE: Shenanigans
by jak3combat
Summary: This story is about the hidden scenes that don't make it into my journal. I can't believe I'm writing it all down, but I figure I might as well get it out. Rated M for death, drinking, swearing, Mark, and possible sex.
1. Max's Arrival 1

_Ever have one of those… weeks?_

"Hey Rexy boy."

Max braced himself as Flight Captain, Lieutenant Ronald Jennings, "Cap'n Ron" according to his call sign, greeted his junior flight mechanic with a thump on the back. "Hey, Cap, he nodded back while giving his left shoulder a roll, trying to work out the pain. "We'll be another hour or so for fueling," the Master Sergeant said as he followed the pilot up the nose ramp of the C-5B Galaxy, holding out his clipboard. "Otherwise we're ready to button up Hannah here and fly."

Hannah was the nickname given to this particular C-5B. The Lockheed Galaxy was a super cargo aircraft stretching some 247 feet long, stood over 65 feet high at the tail, and could transport over 700,000 Lbs of whatever you could stuff into her. She was a monster of an aircraft with a big appetite for cargo, and an even bigger one for fuel.

"That's good to know Rex, good to know," Cap'n Ron acknowledged, taking the clipboard and calling out to the rest of the flight crew to gather around.

Flight Lieutenant and co-pilot: Judy Higgins, call sign "Dorothy (as in the Wizard of Oz.)"

Payload Master: Chief Master Sergeant Kale Summers, "Q-Ball."

Junior Payload Master #1: Senior Master Sergeant Jesse Goldstein, call sign "Rabbit."

Flight Mechanic: Chief Master Sergeant Hugo Duncan, call sign "Torque."

And then there was Max.

Junior Flight Mechanic: Master Sergeant Max Rex… call sign "T-Rex"

"Ok kiddies, listen up…" Cap'n Ron sighed as he looked over the load sheet. "We're heavy today, but most of this, and our passengers, will be off loaded in Honolulu…"

"Oh please say we have a few days stay before the return trip," Jesse half begged, half pleaded. "I really could use some time to work on my tan."

"Girl, I hear that," Hugo chuckled as they quickly bumped fists. "The sun, the surf, the p…"

"Finish that sentence, I dare you…" Dorothy interjected, shooting the African-American a killing glance.

"Sorry kiddies, but it looks as if we are on a turn and burn," Ron shook his head slowly. "From Hawaii, we are heading east to Saudi Arabia with 'Special' cargo…" He then paused for a moment before dropping the ten ton wrecking ball. "We're looking at a round trip time of eight days… We are doing it without a relief crew, and we are going to be short one JPM." With blank looks and astonished faces gapping back at him, Ron quickly finished with, "Junior Payload Master, Mongo, just came down with appendicitis… sorry T-Rex, but you'll be picking up the slack."

"Say what," Q-Ball demanded.

"But Cap, I have a date this Friday!" Dorothy whimpered.

"Shee-it, eight days cooped up in this bird, with you bunch of yo-yos and no back-up crew," Torque crossed his massive black arms over his beefy chest. "That ain't happinen."

"Awh man, I'm going to miss my twenty first birthday party," Rabbit suddenly looked sick. "My mom even invited all the relatives! God, she's going to kill me…"

"And what do you have to say about all this?"

Blinking, Max suddenly became aware that the flight commander was eyeing him, waiting for a complaint of some kind. "I've got nothing better to do," he finally said with a shrug.

"Good man T-Rex, That's why I like flying with you," and again, Cap'n Ron slammed his hand into Max's back with a loud thump. "Now the rest of you have…" he took a moment to scan his watch, "One hour to make calls and clear your schedules, we lift off in 17:30 hours… that is all."

The night fight to Hickam Air Force base was uneventful and rather relaxing once everyone stopped griping about the mission and got down to business. Once at Hickam, Q-Ball, Rabbit, and Rex oversaw the off loading and reloading of cargo, while Dorothy got permission to sneak into town and scrounge up some nonmilitary provisions for the next leg of the trip. Sure, the government had spent billions of dollars to streamline the military into a fast response killing machine, but one quickly got tired of MRE's on long flights. So everyone in the flight crew shelled out thirty bucks apiece and sent Dorothy off with a shopping list.

It took her almost three hours to fill out the list.

After Dorothy returned and the new "special" cargo had been stored, the C-5 Galaxy was once again airborne.

"Max…MAX… Wake the hell up!"

"Huh, what" the Master Sergeant snapped out of his slumber and nearly collided with Jesse as he sat up quickly.

"Come on," she sounded anxious as she began to back out of bunk room two. "Get the lead out T-Rex, we've got trouble!"

Just as he was about to ask, the whole room suddenly dropped three feet, leaving Rabbit floating in mid air for a scant second. Instantly Max was up and in time to catch the girl just as the room sprang back up to meet her, using his own body to cushion her fall. "It's ok, I've gotcha…" he said as the two of them rolled to a stop against the outer bulkhead wall.

"umm, thanks," Rabbit blushed as she came to rest atop the shirtless Master Sergeant's chest.

"Anytime…" he responded warmly.

It was no secret that Jesse had a crush on Max, and while she was rather impressed with his lightning reflexes and the washboard chest he was sporting, Rabbit was quickly reminded why she had awaken him so roughly when the plane did another sudden dip and slight slide to the right. "Come on, Max," she snapped as she climbed to her feet, "We've flown into a bad storm and the turbulence has shifted the cargo." She was at the door in no time and only paused to call over her shoulder, "We need your help locking down the load, so let's go!"

Scrambling to his feet, Max took a moment to untie the sleeves if his coveralls from around his waist, before slipping them on and zipping up his Nomex flight uniform. Though still questioning what the hell was going on, he was out the door and heading to the forward ladder that descended to the cargo deck. Fortunately, said ladder was right next to the cockpit and as he passed, he could hear some of what was happening.

"Fuck! The chop is getting heavier to starboard," Dorothy grunted as she helped Cap'n Ron fight the controls.

"More power to number two engine," the flight commander snapped, "We have to keep her from rolling over…"

"This ain't no ordinary thunder bumper, guys," Torque called while doing something to the circuit breaker panel to his right. "Ok, radar should be comin back up…"

"About fuckin' time…" Dorothy started to say, only to become strangely quiet. "Ron…"

"I see it…" the commander acknowledged in the same hushed tone.

"Sweet Jesus," Torque voice wavered…

Max wanted to hear the rest, but he was already down the steps and onto the cargo deck. "Rabbit, Q-Ball?" he called when his feet hit the floor. One look around him and Max felt a chill run up his spine. The cavernous bay of the C-5 was almost big enough to hold an impromptu football game inside its walls. The plane was simply huge, so much so, that one could stand at the nose and watch the plane flex while in flight. That in itself was always a bit unsettling, yet in a storm, with the lights flickering, it became downright scary.

"Max… over here!"

Shaking his head, Max ran along the port side of the cargo bay until he came to the three vehicles that sat in a line down the center of the plane. Sitting between two Semi sized MRAPs, he found the two loadmasters struggling with the much smaller Humvee that they were transporting. The M-998 troop transport had somehow popped loose, and in the turbulence of the storm, had rolled up onto its side against the C-5's starboard bulkhead. "Shit on me," Max exclaimed as he rushed over to help.

"We've got to roll it back onto its wheels," Q-Ball cried as he and Rabbit fought to right the truck. "It's throwing the plane's weight off balance..."

"No shit," Max barked as he slammed his shoulder into the truck.

Together all three of them strained against the hummer, yet with the way it was sitting, it just wouldn't move. "Crap on a stick, we need Torque down here," Rabbit whimpered when the truck settled back on its side.

"He's busy," Max shot back, "something's wrong with the radar… so no help there!"

"Damn it," Q-Ball yelled out and kicked at the Hummer in frustration. "We'd need a miracle…"

And one happened.

Just as Kale kicked the truck, the C-5 hit a thrust pocket in the storm and dropped ten thousand feet in seconds. The world inside the plane went weightless. Rabbit yelped when the floor beneath her once again dropped away, only this time she wasn't the only one left hanging in the air. With an odd metallic groan, the humvee lifted a foot off the deck and bobbed before the three astonished crew members.

While Max and Jesse grasped for anything still secured to the deck, thinking quickly, Q-Ball planted his feet against the airframe behind him and shoved with all his might. Not that he needed to. Silently the hummer rotated in mid-space and righted itself. Yet just as it became level with the floor, gravity kicked back in. In the blink of an eye, the three went from 0, to plus 5 G's as the aircraft fought to regain altitude. Everything not already tied down, slammed into the deck and was held pinned to the floor by an excess of gravity.

To Max, it felt like a 400 pound man had suddenly jumped on his back and was holding him to the ground. Thankfully it didn't last long and soon both he and Jesse were back on their feet. Q-Ball, on the other hand, hadn't fared so well. Kale had been floating 4 feet over the deck when gravity struck, and on his way down, he had slammed his head into the hummer's steal hide, ripping a huge gash out of his forehead.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…" Rabbit groaned and suddenly looked sick.

"Christ almighty," he cursed as he held his hand over the gash in his scalp while blood flowed freely down his face and dripped off his chin.

"Jesse," Max had to give the girl a gentle shake to snap her back to the problems at hand. "Help Kale up to the flight deck… Now!"

"huh" she gave him a blank look.

"Q-Ball, Upstairs, Bandage head, Now!" he barked as he gave her a push toward their injured crewmate.

"What about the Hummer," Kale asked when Jesse, as if in a trance, shuffled over and helped him up.

"I'll lock it down," Max was already grabbing several spare straps. "You need medical attention, now go!"

While Jesse and Kale headed off, Max got to work. Quickly he secured the first strap over the axel of the Hummer's driver side front tire and ratcheted it down as tight as possible. The other three straps quickly followed, one over each of the trucks independent drive axels, until he fully believed that only God himself would be able to move the hummer from its resting spot.

He was just testing the last of the ratcheting cargo straps when there came the sound of an explosion and all the lights in the cargo hold died. "Crap…" Max sighed as he sat perfectly still in the dark, waiting. He had flown through thunderstorms before and had recognized the unique sound of a lightning strike. All he could do now was wait until Torque reset the breakers… But the lights didn't come back on.

A cold pit began to form in his belly as one by one, the red emergency lights began to flicker on. If a C-5's cargo bay was a scary place during a storm with the lights on, it became hell at 20 thousand feet with the lights off. And now, with the entire plane bathed in a red glow, the comparison to Lucifer's fiery home was complete. Slowly Max began to pick his way back to the ladder. While the emergency light helped, they were located along the walls of the cargo deck and not overhead. This meant that everything was awash in thick shadows and one needed to be careful where one stepped or risk injury.

Now the interesting thing about the C-5 Galaxy is the lack of view ports. For the most part they had tiny round portholes at or near each of her six crew service doors, but nothing else, so little or no ambient light ever made its way into the plane while in flight. Yet as Max made his way back to the ladder, he caught sight of light outside the port side viewing window. As he got close to the ladder and the little window near it, he could see that the light had a flickering yellow and orange glow to it.

Stepping up to the ladder, Max suddenly became acutely aware that, except for the thrum of the engines, that plane was deathly quiet and wasn't being buffeted by the storm any longer. The other thing that he discovered was that the C-5 was listing slightly to port. Curiosity gently grabbed hold of the Junior Flight Mechanic, and he found himself inexplicably drawn to the little round window.

Outside the plane the world had changed. The rain had cleared and the stars shown high above. Far away he could see the full moon's light reflecting off what looked like an ancient Greek city made of clouds…

And to his left, the inboard number three engine was engulfed by flames.


	2. Max's Arrival 2

_**Destiny often works in quiet and mysterious ways,**_

_**But sometimes it takes you by the hand and drags you kicking and screaming.**_

"Captain!" Max called out as he bolted up the steps two at a time. Though panic nipped at his heels, he wasn't ready to give into it just yet. "Inboard port engine is burning…" he announced as he pushed open the cockpit door and made his way up to the pilots command chair. He half expected Cap'n Ron to say something along the lines of "No shit Sherlock," but instead Max was greeted by silence… and an empty seat.

"Dorothy, where is…" he began as he glanced over to the co-pilots station, only to find it vacant as well.

Slowly Max turned towards where, only minutes before, Torque had been working to reestablish power to the flight radar. Wires and cabling extruded from the open fuse panel and he could see the shunt Torque had used as a bypass… but the large black man was nowhere to be seen. 'What the hell is going on,' his mind questioned as he ducked out of the cockpit and slowly wandered down the connecting corridor looking for Rabbit and Q-Ball.

The only evidence of the bleeding Loadmaster and his cute assistant was found in the crew's galley. The folding table the crew had meals at should have been stored and locked while flying through such a nasty storm. Instead it was out and had the contents from one of the first aid boxes strewn over it. But as for Rabbit and Q-Ball, there was no sign. In an odd daze, Max checked the rest of the crew's flight cabins and though he found everything in order, he also found that he was alone on the C-5B.

At this point confusion far outweighed any form of fear as he slowly made his way back to the cockpit and slipped into the pilot's chair. "So now what," he posed the question to the empty room.

Due to the military's ideals that there should be fail safe contingencies for every situation that can or might arise, a crew member of any given vehicle, be it a tank, an assault transport, or in this case… a C-5 Galaxy, should be able to perform any and all jobs required of that vehicle should one or more of its personnel be unable or unfit to perform their assigned job. This meant that Max needed to not only know the proper way to load the plane, but fly it as well.

And Max could fly a plane; he had flow his grandfather's single engine, Piper Cub crop-duster hundreds of hours… But a C-5 Galaxy was not a crop-duster.

In the Cub, there were only 7 instruments you had to keep an eye on while in flight; airspeed indicator, altitude indicator (artificial horizon), vertical speed indicator (rate of climb), altimeter,magnetic compass, turn and bank indicator (aircraft attitude), and fuel.

Because a C-5 had four engines, it had four times the gizmos 'n' gadgets. The original instrument panel for the C-5 was a vast array of gauges, switches and toggles. However, most of the avionics were modernized in 2002 when the majority of the C-5B's got overhauled. Now, instead of starting at his left elbow, and running across the cockpit to the far right hand side of the co-pilots seat, the whole thing was run by computers and simplified into four display screens, a large computer and a hand full of switches.

This was all fine and dandy, when the power wasn't out.

So instead of a huge cluster of out-of-date instruments that worked, he instead had four blank screens and a giant electronic paperweight that took up a great deal of space between the two command chairs. On top of that, no power meant no hydraulics, so Max was stuck trying to fly the dying plane by wire.

Luckily not everything was dead. There were still a few things that didn't require power to work, or had their own back-up source. The back-up altitude and air speed indicators ran off outside air piped in, and passed over gyros. Direction was a floating compass with hash marks. Pitch of the wings worked off a ball of mercury in a glass, crescent shaped tube. And finally there was fuel. While there was an electronic gauge for fuel, there was also a gauge that used liquid presser to tell you how much of the go-go juice you had.

But trying to read the instruments by the red glow of the emergency lights was next to impossible. "Time to improvise," the memory of his grandfather, the man who had raised him after his parents died, came back in a rush. The old man had a vast farm in Kentucky where he bred horses, grew corn and did what he could to take care of Max by himself. One of the first things he taught Max was that if something broke, you fixed it. If you didn't have the right parts, you improvised or "You MacGyvered it," the old man told him.

Instantly he was up and digging though Torque's station until he found what he was after. A pen sized Maglight and duct-tape. Quickly he lowered the armrest of the co-pilot's seat and after aiming the small light just right, he taped it down… using a good bit of the roll to do so.

Now that he could see the fight instruments, he climbed back into the pilots chair and buckled himself in.

_"Ok, now run though your checklist boy," his grandfather's voice echoed back to him, and for a moment in time, Max was 14 again. The sound of the Piper Cub's single engine droned on in a strange purr, as the weathered old man who sat behind, coached him on. "Come on, Boy, used that head of yours for something besides a hat-rack and think… what do you do first?"_

"I check my horizon line first, making sure I'm flying level," he spoke the words as they came to him. "Then the altimeter. Air speed is next followed by direction and fuel."

_"Then what are you waiting for boy?"_

Blinking back the memory, Max went to work. The horizon line told him he was slightly nose heavy while in a gentle bank to port, and while the plane had been flying at twenty thousand feet above sea level, he was currently a twelve thousand and dropping. As for the compass, what had been an easterly flight, he now found, was the plane heading almost due north. While all of that should have alarmed him, it was the fuel gage that suddenly filled him with dread.

Reaching out, he gently tapped the gauge with a finger in hopes that the indicator was stuck and giving the wrong reading. Yet the needle didn't move from where it pointed… it hovered over zero.

Checking his watch, Max could only sit there in an odd state of shock. They had completed a mid-air refueling only three hours ago, so the wing tanks should still be half full. Sure they had flown headlong into a storm, but even that couldn't have eaten that much more gas. So where the hell had all the fuel gone?

And then he remembered the port inboard engine and his mind went to work. While a lightning strike on a jet turbine shouldn't make it explode into flames, it could have hit any number of things and knocked them loose. If a fan blade came off just right, and he had seen videos where it had, it would cause the high tech machine to disintegrate into a ball of flaming debris. And unless one shut off the fuel to said engine, the pumps would continue to feed gas to the flames.

"Ok, first things first," he said, though no one was listening. "Let's get that fire out!"

Grasping the throttle for inboard engine number 3, he tried to yank it back as fast as possible so that the fire couldn't follow the dwindling fuel up the gas line and into the wing tanks. But the throttle wouldn't move. Arching a questioning eyebrow, he tried to figure out what would have locked the handle in place. It came to him while he stared blankly at the instrument panel.

There it was, probably running on back-up power, but there it was. One of the few indicator lights that slowly flashed before him, was the auto-pilot. Without thinking he calmly reached out and flipped the toggle to off… and regretted everything that came after.

With nothing holding the large plane on its dwindling course, the C-5 nosed over hard to port and rolled onto her back.

With the world upside down, the 400,000 plus pounds of cargo was now placing a lot of strain on the Galaxy in a way the designers at Lockheed had never intended. And yet, no matter what he tried, the plane refused to right herself. All around him, Max could hear the sounds of groaning metal as the stress on the plane made it flex and pop. If he didn't act quickly, the gigantic aircraft's wings would be ripped off by the stress.

Thanking the powers that be for the insight of buckling his ass in earlier, he now said a quiet prayer that what he was about to do, would work. With the plane already inverted, he set his feet and pulled back on yoke with all his might… and oh so slowly, the C-5B began to respond.

The fighter jocks called it an Inverted Immelmann turn. While upside-down, one kicked the elevators over and pointed the nose of the plane straight down, once done, you just kept the half loop going until the plane pulled itself out and was once again in normal level flight. That was all well and good if you were in an F-22 Raptor. They were made for aerial combat and offensive maneuvering. Max was in a jumbo cargo plane…

Now that the C-5 was in a nose dive, Max became aware of a few things. One was that he was losing precious altitude at an alarming rate. The other was that there was a city directly in his path of descent. Why he wasn't over a vast unfriendly ocean, he hadn't a clue… but it was a good size city judging by the vast expanse of lights. 'Jeez, I wonder how many buildings will be destroyed when I plow into the ground?' the morbid thought crossed his mind.

"No, Not Yet," Max cried as every heart beat brought him closer to death. "Come On Hannah, You Fucking Bitch, Pull Up!" The mixed scream of defiance and rage helped to push the negative thoughts out of his head, while at the same time, had an interesting affect on the plane. Little by little, as the city grew ahead of him, Hannah's nose began to lift.

The problem was that for every second the plane fell out of the sky, she also picked up speed. So as the altimeter ticked past four thousand feet, the airspeed indicator climbed past 620 miles an hour. The strain of trying to pull her 769,000 lb bulk out of the dive was beginning to take its affect. Somewhere in the plane, metal buckled, rivets popped and welds ripped.

And yet, defying all odds, the C-5B held together.

As the Galaxy gradually settled back into level flight, Max was finally able to let out a sigh and wiped away the sweat that now trickled down his forehead. With the landscape now less than a thousand feet below the C-5's belly, and flashing past at a rocketing 650 mph, the junior flight mechanic allowed himself a moment to relax. Sure she was exceeding her rated cruising speed, and probably had irreparable damage done to her flight frame. But they were both alive and still flying.

The only problem Max failed to take into account was that the altimeter showed an aircraft's height above sea-level, not its height above the ground. So as he piloted the C-5B on a now straight south cores, following a twisting river, the trees and ground were slowly getting closer. Several more small towns would pass by before Max took note of the world outside the cockpit and began to make adjustments accordingly.

If Max was going to find a place to land… or crash, it would have to be soon.

Unfortunately it would have to be crash, for while he was rechecking his instruments, the sickening sound of one of the turbines flaming out reverberated though the plane. One look told him everything. Engine one on the starboard wing had just run out of fuel. Max quickly glanced out the cockpit, hoping to find a large flat place to ditch, only to discovered he had unconsciously followed the river into a wide basin flanked on either side by high mountains.

What was worse was the rather high peek and, though slightly cartoony looking, a brightly lit castle that loomed ahead of the C-5B.

"Come along Nightwing, I don't want Princess Luna to know we were absent from our post."

"And whose fault is that, I wonder," the Nightguard trainee asked.

"To place blame would be unproductive at this time, Nightwing," the older pony gave a snort.

"Only because you're the one it would be placed upon," she snapped back as she raced along the outer battlement. "We should have left 10 minutes ago, but you just had to roll toughs stupid dice one more time!"

"Now listen here you…" Dante halted in his headlong rush and spun around to chastise his partner, only he suddenly lost the ability to speak. If he hadn't turned around, he never would have noticed it. The "It" was traveling remarkably fast and looked to be on a collision course with the lower half of Canterlot Castle. "What in the name of Celestia?"

"Hey now, don't change the subject," Nightwing stood her ground.

"Wing, look…"

"No, you were about to say something and…" she was interrupted when Sergeant Dante reached up and turned her head. Even she couldn't miss what was approaching.

Pony gliders, hot-air balloons and Sky-Ships were nothing new to the ponies of Equestria, and were used all the time, so both Night Soldiers knew instantly that what flew towards them was a machine built for flight and that it was in trouble. "Whatever it is, they won't last long with that wing on fire." Nightwing calmly noted.

The sergeant wholly understood his comrades' comment, yet as he watched, he could see the air craft fighting for altitude. However it was where the craft was heading that froze his hooves to the battlement. "Hey Sarg…" Night began as the machine sped ever closer, her armor beginning to rattle. "Is it just me, or is that thing heading straight for us?!"

Just as it looked like the craft was done for, and that tomorrow, thousands of rescue ponies would be sent to search the rubble that had once been Canterlot for survivors… the craft banked hard to the right. Together Nightwing and Dante cheered when, with a roar that shook the castle's very foundation, the machine finally rocketed past… its huge left wing barely missing the gigantic tower that housed Celestia's bedroom. "Oh thank the Sisters…" the two hooped for joy while they watched the craft disappear past the walls and continue on its journey.

What they didn't know was that the flying machine only had seconds left to live.


	3. Max's Arrival 3

_**Some are born into greatness**_

_**And some stumble into it quite by accident**_

"FUCK ME!" He had screamed it out even before he fully realized what it was he had just seen. Though it had seemed like a life time ago, it had only been 15 minutes since he switched off the autopilot and began his fight to keep both himself and Hannah alive. It had taken everything he had in him, the struggle, the heart racing chaos, the constant brushing with death. And he had survived it all… only to die because some dip-shit thought it would be nice to build a city on the side of a mountain cliff.

Yet once again luck was with him.

At first he had figured that his time was up. He was quickly running out of room and the outer city wall was still looming some twenty feet over his head. But at the last instant, with spray from the intricate pools and waterfalls pelting the plane's nose and front windscreens, Hannah's over-sized wings caught a rushing updraft of air. In the blink of an eye, Max had the C-5B Galaxy standing on her starboard wing, with the lights of the castle illuminating her belly as she screamed past.

For an odd moment in time, Max felt like yelling out a cheer and doing some sort of dance… yet no sooner had he leveled the gigantic aircraft out, than the starboard number two engine coughed and flamed out. With only the outboard number four still running, the C-5B began a lazy drift to starboard, one that Max knew he couldn't correct.

The upside to all of this was that the port wing was no longer on fire.

The downside was that he was now speeding his way towards another quaint little city, its lights quickly growing ahead of him.

So with his airspeed quickly bottoming out, no way to control the plane, and the tree top canopy slowly reaching up, Max did the only thing he could. With a final prayer, he clenched his eyes tightly shut, the main thought on his mind was that the pilot and co-pilot were always the first to the scene of the crash… and he really didn't want to see his death coming for him.

To toughs who were locking up for the night or heading home, the shock at seeing a huge grey flying machine streaking past overhead was altogether new and at the same time very frightening. Add in the fact that it made almost no noise until it collided with the upper spire of the Ponyville courthouse, sending chunks of wood and glass down on the townsfolk, and chaos soon erupted.

Luckily the craft managed to stay aloft a scant few seconds longer, missing the edge of town before slamming down atop the southern bridge, utterly destroying it. Rocks and dirt bounced off the C-5's massive flat belly, her landing gear kicking up debris as she careened down the south road, bumping and grinding her way towards a nearby apple farm. However, unlike the road that turned to the right as you neared the farm, Hanna continued on a straight line into the woods that lined one side of the Apple's cherished orchard, missing the farm altogether… mostly.

Upon colliding with the dense foliage, the C-5's nose/front cargo hatch took a hell of a beating… before the plane came to rest some 300 yards into the nearby woods and less than 30 yards from Sweet Apple Acres east fence line.

Needless to say, all of Ponyville and most of Canterlot were now wide awake… especially one very pissed off sun princess.

As reality settled and the C-5 became quiet once again, Max found himself dent over the yoke of the plane, with his face pressed up against the control panel. Funny, but he couldn't remember the actual impact or the resulting crash. Groggily he pushed himself back into an upright and seated position, as he did so, blood dripped down his forehead and he suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over him.

Taking a few deep breaths, mostly to try and settle his queasy stomach, he forced open his eyes and looked about. He half expected to find the cockpit smashed and mangled, however it was in one relative piece. The flight instrument cluster was still dark, the mechanics station was all covered in loose wires and cabling, and Q-Balls pocket light still shown from the armrest of the co-pilot's chair. The only difference now was the little rivulets of blood that streaked the front windscreen and control panel.

"Where in the hell," curiosity urged him forward until he was bent over the pilot's yoke once again and peering out the cockpit's windows.

The world beyond unfolded into what looked like a beautiful North American forest. The sparsely packed trees that looked like oak were a stark contrast to the organized rows of fruit trees that rose up not far away. And in the mist that covered the forest floor, he could make out a child's tree house complete with rope swing, no more than a few yards from the plane's nose. In fact, one of Hanna's huge General Electric TF-39 engines now sat happily nestled against said tree house.

To Max, the large farm just off to his right, looked picture perfect… like something from a greeting card or a "Wish you were here" card

"So I crashed somewhere in the northern 48. Well, at least they're on OK terms with the American government," he said sarcastically to himself. "And who knows, maybe someone saw the plane go down and is looking for me…" Max had to pause and wonder if they would be mad that he had probably destroyed or at the least badly damaged someone's crops. "Guess I better see how much damage we did."

With a nauseating dizziness in his head, and realizing that the atmosphere inside the plane was probably full of toxic fumes… he suddenly found the need to get outside where the air was fresher. Ripping the flashlight free from the copilot's armrest, he quickly unbuckled his safety harness and made his way out of the cockpit. Yet, as he stepped up to the ladder/retractable stairs that lead down, he took note that the rest of the crew cabin.

While he was surprised to find the main cabin seemingly in one piece and not scattered all over the unknown landscape, anything not secured to the plane by bolt or screw had been tossed about and now cluttered the floor. In the galley, cupboards had opened spilling out all the food and snacks. In the crew's sleeping births, extra clothes and other personal possessions were strewn over the floor. Even the mattresses had dislodged from the bed frames and now lay in a haphazard heap.

And the whole mess was slowly spinning counter-clock-wise…

"Right, fresh air and help," Max sighed as he grabbed the hand rails and nearly slid down the stairs and didn't stop until he had run full force into the forward port entry door. Though momentarily stunned, he paused and opened the nearby emergency landing kit. There were six in all, large yellow cabinets set next to each of the planes emergency exits. Inside were a first aid kit, inflatable four man raft, MRE food rations, and a bright orange flare gun.

It was the gun Max reached for.

Detaching one of the three 12-gauge like shells from the plastic rack attached to the gun's handle via a tether, he cracked the gun's breech and slid the shell home. Now that he had a way of signaling for help. With the gun now stashed in a pocket, he quickly took a step back and grasped the latch handle. With a grunt he popped the handle free and gave it a half turn. This should have been enough to force the door to open yet to his dismay, it didn't move.

"What the hell?!" Blinded by a need to get out, he wasn't paying attention when he jerked the handle the other direction and the door popped open easily. With an odd ka-thump, Max fell nearly four feet to the earth below.

"Perfect, simply perfect…" he muttered sarcastically as darkness once again reached up to clam him, all the while leaving him laying face down in the soft wet grass…

"NO!" a very annoyed voice barked out, slowly pulling Max back from the darkness. "I've had it up to my horn with this whole mess!"

"But Tia…"

"Luna, you are my sister and I love you dearly," the voice softened for just a moment before regaining its edge. "But you and Dawn have gone too far this time, a human here or there, I can tolerate…" Max gradually rolled over in time to see several blurry shapes making their way towards him. "But this …thing… it nearly crashed into Canterlot and almost flattened Ponyville! Well no more!"

As the world began to clear for the Jr Flight Mechanic, he could make out a tall white alicorn, a winged unicorn, an angel complete with a flowing pastel main and purple eyes… and she was glaring not too happily at him. "And you, were you the one flying this thing?" she demanded, ignoring the blood that dripped down his face.

Slowly Max waved the alicorn closer, "Do you have something to say?" she asked as she bent her head.

"…closer…" he managed to squeak out.

With her muzzle now hovering over his face, the mechanic leaned up and whispered so softly, that only she heard his words.

"…you are the most beautiful cheater I've ever seen…"

Celestia's head jerked up so fast that one could hear the crack of a whip.

She was still standing there like a statue when a doctor rushed up and began to look the young man over, "Well?" someone asked.

"The cut over his eye is nothing series," the Doc gave a relieved sigh. "As for the large knot on his forehead, it's probably a mild concussion… a couple days of bed rest and he should be fine."

"Can he be moved," Celestia suddenly asked.

"Sure," Doc nodded as he glanced up at the sun princess…

Without another word, Celestia and the prone mechanic disappeared in a flash of light, leaving behind a lot of confused ponies, including her personal guard.


	4. Max's Arrival (Final)

**Author's Note: For ya'll to know; I _will_ accept submissions for chapters and post them up here. If you want a specific scene for your character, PM the thing to me or send it over an DocX or whathaveyou. I'll also post it on _MiE_.**

* * *

Celestia had barged in almost an hour ago, at first they had an odd QnA session about his life before coming to Equestria… But after, well, she went into a rant about how dangerous humans could be and how she feared for her little ponies lives. Yet somehow, during the rant, the subject of her problems changed to that of how her sister and brother were trying to take over Equestria. She had ruled alone for a thousand years, and while she had been sad that her little sister wasn't with her, she had kept her ponies safe.

Now, every time she turned around, it seemed like Luna and Dawn were making decisions that would affect not only her little ponies, but the world… all without asking if they could or informing her until said change was already underway. In short, she felt like an unneeded third wheel who's kingdom was slowly being taken from her.

And the whole time Max sat on the edge of the bed and listened intently.

That was until she began talking about Dawn and his humans. At that point Max's sharp eyes noted the signs of stress, not only emotional, but physical. Taking the initiative he moved over to where the royal alicorn paced the floor. Gently he reached out and placed a hand on her dock, to let her know he was there and to stop her from wondering about the room. Once she was standing still, he prodded her with soft words and a softer touch as he removed each of her golden hoof slippers. She was still bitching up a storm when he removed her necklace/harness and set it aside, before removing her crown…

She didn't stop complaining until the first few drops of warm water splashed down upon her white coat.

Shock, her mind froze up while trying to figure out what the hell was happening. One moment she was walking back 'n' forth before the human, now she was in a bath-stall with 4 shower heads cascaded water down into her body while a naked human stood by her side.

Then came the soapy sponge… and heaven. Every little problem of the day just melted as the human… as Max scrubbed and washed every square inch of her. And as he did, he sang some odd song softly which only helped her to relax.

(Brad Paisley's Ticks)

**_" I know the perfect little path_**

**_Out in these woods I used to hunt_**

**_Don't worry babe I've got your back_**

**_And I've also got your front_**

**_I'd hate to waste a night like this…_**

**_I'll keep you safe you wait and see_**

**_The only thing allowed to crawl all over you, when we get there…_**

**_…is me."_**

By now he was working on her wings, and though he was having a bit of trouble do to the massive wing-boner she was sporting, he managed well enough. At least his soft singing was helping, and she couldn't help but giggle like a school-filly when she heard the funny chorus of the song.

_**"Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight**_

_**I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks**_

_**I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers**_

_**And I'd like to check you for ticks."**_

When the song had finished, Celestia had to shake her head to clear it. Somehow she was out of the shower, dry, and now was laying in Max's bed while he lovingly brushed out her tail. Now usually her main was a flowing ethereal, pastel rainbow. But when she turned the magic off that affected her tail 'n' mane, they reverted back to their natural pinkish hew.

So there Max sat, dressed only in a towel, his back pressed against her backside while he gently brushed the tangles out of her long tail… Slowly she licked her lips as a long forgotten and very repressed hunger began to burn within her.


	5. Chapter

**_All this takes place between chapters 44 and 45, and are written entirely by RenaTamer._**

* * *

"So you think I should reinstate the position?"

"If memory serves me," Max paused at the top of the basement stairs and listened as Twilight went on, "There hasn't been one for over eight hundred years…"

Just after a really nice breakfast, Schmidt had left to meet up with Mark and Anon, leaving Max to set up for tonight's briefing down in the libraries basement, alone. All the while Sunbutt and Sparklebutt were left to themselves and had decided to ketch up on old-times…

"I…I remember," Celestia's voice took on a sad tone. "Lucky was a good friend and did his best to help me during the darkest time in my life. He helped me laugh and put on a brave face during the day, and held me while I cried at night… longing for Luna.

"I remember reading about him," Twilight said sullenly. "You became a different princess after he died, more withdrawn."

"After he passed away, I couldn't bring myself to appoint another, or to hold anypony so close…" the sun princess gave a heavy sigh, yet her voice changed, becoming happier. "That was until a lavender unicorn filly came into my life…"

"Did I really change your life that much?"

"You were my first real and best friend in quite a long time my dear faithful student," Max opened the door quietly and found Celestia and Twilight laying on the floor of the library, several open books scattered around them… the princess was nuzzling Twilight's neck. "You helped me open up and see life anew, and just when I thought things couldn't get better… you gave me back my beloved little sister."

"Now there's a story I'd love to hear."

"Oh, hey there Max," Twilight happily chirped as she glanced over her shoulder. "We were just reminiscing…"

"I heard," he nodded, stepping over to Celestia's left side and plopping down onto the ground. "So mind if I ask… who's Lucky?"

"You overheard that, did you," the princess giggled nervously.

"Kinda hard not to."

"Lucky was the last in a line of Royal Consorts," Twilight said as she went into explanation mode. "Realizing that her daughters would live a long time, the Great Mother Alicorn created a position in the royal court, one that would help keep the physical and mental health of the alicorn sisters in check…"

"In short," Celestia blushed, "It's a fancy title for a royal sex toy."

"Really…" the human blinked, "So I take it that you're going to give this title to Luna's boyfriend?"

"Umm, nooo," Twilight looked away as she dug at the floor with a hoof. "Not him…

"Then who?"

"You Max," Celestia turned her large eyes and gazed longingly up at him. "Would you consider becoming my Royal Consort?"

"You want me to become a royal boy-toy?"

"Indeed…" the princess nodded hopefully.

Max shivered for now there were two sets of large eyes silently pleading up at him. "I must be going crazy… but yeah."

* * *

_**Later that night**_

* * *

"I am Master Sergeant Max Rex, call sign T-Rex," the young man called loudly, a sine to all who had gathered to quiet down and listen up. "And this is How to Properly Groom Your Pony 101…"

Currently every human who now lived in Ponyville were gathered in the cavernous basement of the Golden Oaks Library for a not so voluntary class that their General had deemed all take. And as with any gathering of young males, there were several quiet snickering and gestures that floated about before things settled down.

"Before I begin, I must ask if everyone picked up a packet at the door," Max asked as he hesitantly moved to the front of the room. Max was not a leader nor did he like public speaking… but Mark hadn't given him the choice. "If not, then please raise your hands and Miss Sparkle will be happy to give you one."

"As for the rest of you, the reason you are here is to learn how to properly care for you significant somepony. That means I will be detailing how to wash, groom, and take care of your mare or filly's daily needs… and so that you don't accidentally touch or piss-off any of the locals…"

"I must give props to Rarity, of Rarity's Carousel Boutique, for the generously letting us use three of her manikins for you yah-hoo's to practice on later in the class." Max said as he gestured to the dressing dummies off to one side, before clearing his throat and taking on a more serious tone. "I would also like to thank Princess Celestia for donating her time as our main model for this class."

Instantly the room went silent as the white ruler of Equestria sashayed up to Max's side.

"Good morning to all," she greeted them in her warm motherly voice.

"Celestia, if you would be so good as to turn one side to the class, we can get this ball rolling." As she did so, Max took a moment to collect his train of thought. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he began. "Turning to the first page of your booklet you will find a diagram of a pony anatomy, and while it is not necessary for you guys to memorize all the parts that make up a pony, it's there to help when I start going into detail…"

Over the next few hours Max did his best to teach, or train, his fellow humans everything he knew about brushing, combing, washing and hoof care for a hours from earth and the only slight difference of using that knowledge on an Equestria pony. The main one being that ponies could do most of the grooming themselves.

Although Celestia was quick to point out that most fillies and mares loved having their partners wash and groom them, for it helped form a stronger loving bond.

"And unless one is a unicorn," she said with only a hint of a blush. "There will always be areas where he or she can not reach on their own."

This little tidbit got a giggle out of Twilight and Pinkie Pie… who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Tell me about it," the pink pony chortled. "Do you all know how hard it is to clean that one spot just under my tail with a mouth held scrub-brush? Why if I didn't have Gallan to mnffmm…"

Everyone had a good chuckle as the now red faced man did his best to muffle his hyper filly.

"Ok! Now that we have grooming down, it's time to touch on a more sensitive issue… pony erogenous zones," and again he had to wait for the laughter to die down. "Alright, alright… so that was a poor choice in wording, I'm sorry."

"WILL YOU GUYS SHUT IT!" Mark snapped, and instantly all was quiet once again. He had found tear gas canisters from _somewhere_ and was wearing o'Drake's gas mask.

"Thanks Duffy," Max sighed before pressing on, and hoping he and Sunbutt could get through without turning red themselves. "Besides the obvious, most mares and fillies have two zones you have to be very careful of when touching. With all ponies, male and female alike, the cutie mark is a sensitive zone."

"While you can use a brush or comb over it without any undo affect," he demonstrated on Celestia, who took it all in stride. "Skin to, in this case, fur contact will have definite and sometimes unwanted results."

"Are you sure about this," he paused long enough to ask the princess.

"If it will help teach the humans how to better take care of my little ponies," she gave a curt nod. "Then please, carry on."

Taking a moment to run his hand down her back and over her crop, he pointed out that it had little effect on her, other than a happy sigh. "Now observe…" and with that, he slowly placed his palm atop her sun shaped cutie mark. The result was instantaneous. Her breath caught in her throat, her face turned pink, and her eyes dilated as she bit her lip to stifle a moan.

After gently removing his hand and letting the princess regain her composer, he continued. "Besides the cutie mark, each race of ponies has their own zone, with pegasi it's the underside of the wings, along the joints. With unicorns, it's the grove or spiral of their horns. And with earth ponies, it's the bottom of the hooves… kinda like giving a girl a foot rub."

"As one can imagine, like any of you taking a shower on your own, a pony can touch themselves…" Again he had to wait for the chuckling to die… "A pony can wash him or her-self without it getting sexual. But to have someone else polish their horn… (more laughter) preen their feathers, or give a hoof rub… it quickly turns erotic for them."

After a bit more mirth and snickering, things went a little easier…

"Well, that's about wraps everything up…" Max finally said, some three hours after starting this whole mess. "Unless there was something I forgot."

"Hammer space!"

"Hammer… what now," the Master Sergeant blinked in surprise.

"Hammer space," Pinkie replied as she reached back towards her rear-end, with a giggle she tore through space and time to access the hidden pocket and pulled forth her party canon. "It was a gift that the Great Mother Alicorn bestowed upon all ponies, we all have them, though mine is deeper than most."

"Great Mother Alicorn," Max asked of his princess.

"My mother, and the creator of Equestria…" Celestia whispered back.

"Anyhow," Pinkie suddenly turned her cannon on the class and lit the fuse. Chaos erupted as most of the men either recoiled and hit the deck in fear, or panicked and headed for the stairs and the only exit. Only Gallan stayed perfectly still, even as the cannon exploded and filled the room with streamers and confetti. "Somepony has a birthday today!" she cheered as the artillery disappeared, only to be replaced by a large cake…

"Mmmm, I love cake!" Celestia giggled impishly. Mark finally spoke up.

"You touch my cake without letting me have a piece first and I'll give you a ten second head start before I hunt you down, Sunbutt." He growled.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the castle

* * *

"By Celestia!" the princess of the moon exclaimed as she threw her hooves up in defeat. "How does she do this without going insane…"

"I had no idea there was this much paperwork involved in running this place." Lunacae whimpered as she gazed at the huge pile of scrolls and envelopes that cluttered the top of Celestia's office desk. And as if on cue, the chancellor entered with even more scrolls floating behind her. "Oh come on!" the midnight blue pony declared, ready to pull her mane out. "Where is all this… stuff, coming from?"

"From all over the kingdom," the royal secretary gave a deadpan response.

"Wwwhyyy…" the smaller Luna let out a long drawn-out cry, hiding her face in her hooves as the chancellor deposited the scrolls and left, nearly bumping into the princess of love on his way out.

"Aunty Celestia…" Cadence merrily called out before taking in the odd scene before her. Luna sat at her sisters desk, her eyes wide and her usually flowing main a disheveled rat's nest. Then there was Nightmare Moon who sat on the floor and literally looked like death warmed over. "Oh my," she did her best to stifle a giggle. "What prey tell is going on, and where is Celestia?"

"She went on vacation…" Moon whimpered.

"Some words were said," Luna sighed disheartenly as she pushed at the mass of paperwork before her. "And…"

"And she left you two in charge to teach both of you a lesson," she said with a knowing smile. "And now you're drowning in red tape… and could really use a helping hoof?"

Both ponies nodded, taking on the misty-eyed, puppy dog look, Luna even managed the trembling lips routine. "Ok, ok…" Cadence moved around the desk to stand besides the moon princess. "First thing Celestia taught me about running a kingdom, is that everything is color coated to show importance.

Picking up the first scroll in the pile, she rotated it around until a little ribbon came into view. "Red means very important, blue means personal correspondence…" and so she continued over the next few minutes until she came to two scrolls, one had a red with gold trim tag, the other gold with white trim. "This one," she held up the red n gold. "Is a friendship letter from Twilight, and the last is one from Celestia herself."

Luna almost jumped as she fumbled for said scroll. "Oh, maybe she's coming back early," she said hopefully… only to become strangle confused.

"What's wrong Lulu," Lunacae blinked when she heard Cadence start to giggle as she looked at the scroll from over her aunt's shoulder. Without saying a word Luna passed the letter to her larger half.

T_o my most beloved sisters:_

_By the time you finally come across this letter, there should be over a hundred scrolls scattered atop my desk, and you two should be ready to pull your mains out in frustration. Fear not my siblings, for help is but a short walk away. Before you returned to me, my dearest sister, I had begun training Princess Mi Amore Cadenza on how to keep and run a kingdom. With Cadence's help, you should be able to get things back in order in no time. You can find her either in her room, or watching the royal guard train…_

_Love Celestia_

_Ps. I WIN!_

"You have got to be kidding me," Moon gasped in shock.


	6. Lodgings

"But I don't understand, I already have a room at the other end of the palace," Max stammered when Celestia paused before a door just down from hers… one that wasn't there a few days ago.

"Max, I can't very well have my Consort living that far away," she stated, giving him that know-it-all smile she kept reserved for Twilight. "I'm not going to go wandering about the castle at 3 in the morning just because I suddenly get an itch only you can scratch…"

"…I…" he started to say as she opened the door and stepped past the threshold. What lay beyond nearly floored the human, "Holy Hell!" he blinked in surprise as he stepped into a very familiar bedroom.

"What do you think," Tia asked, turning to regard him after reaching the middle of the room.

"But, but how…" Max questioned as he glanced about HIS bedroom, the very one from the other side of the palace.

"The castle is magical, Max," she giggled as he ventured up to her side, his wide eyes darting about. "On command from either Luna, Dawn or myself, it has the ability to hide, move or create rooms as we see fit," she gave him a wink.

"Kinda like Hogwarts huh?"

"And what prey tell do swine having a skin blemish have to do with the palace?"

"Right, I forgot," he announced before moving over to his duffle bag, the confused princess following along. "Here," he said after searching his gear and pulling out a book. "Rabbit…er… Jesse got me hooked on the movies, but told me that the books were better." Celestia tilted her head in wonder as he held up a beat-up paperback tome… the cover read Harry Potter, And the Sorcerers' Stone.

"Oh my, you have literature from your world," she gasped as her magic snatched the book from his hands. To Max, she was acting like Twilight with a new spell.

"Now I know where Twilight gets it from," he chuckled, "Would my Sunbutt like to read it?"

"Oh yes please," Tia nodded happily, making a beeline for the door to his bathroom. From there he was surprised once again as she passed through said water closet, opening a second set of doors, and stepping into her bedroom.

"So we now share a bathroom," he offhandedly commented as he followed her swaying hindquarters.

"Yes," she didn't even bother looking back, her eyes glued to the book. "Will that be a problem?"

"No, just something we will both have to adjust to…" Max gave a shrug. "Though it makes me wonder just how a pony uses a toilet…"

"Wait," her attention suddenly snapped back to the human. "You can't tell me that, the whole time you worked on the farm, that you never saw a pony poop before?"

"Ummm, no, it's not that," he quickly said, trying very hard not to laugh… it's not every day you hear a princess say "poop". "It's just that the horses on my world didn't use flushing toilets."

"WHAT?!" Celestia screeched in shocked surprise. "Then where did they …go…?"

"Purity much wherever they wanted," Max shrugged and almost immediately Celestia looked ready to faint. "Hell, every day it was my job to muck out their stalls before heading off to school…"

"That's just… ICK!"


	7. Max's First Official Day

**This takes place between chapters 45 and 46**

* * *

"Thanks again Max," one of the castle maids, smiled while Celestia's pet human held a vase of flowers high so she could clean the hall table. Ok, so pet was not the word the Sun Princess used, but that was what he jokingly called himself and most of the palace staff were happy to oblige.

"Not a prob, Dusty…" Max smiled, replacing the flowers once the little sandy brown earth mare with the feather duster cutie mark had finished. "Grandpa always said that one should always be ready to lend a pretty girl a hand."

"So you think I'm pretty," she asked, batting her large green eyes seductively.

"I'll plead the fifth on that and just say that you look cute in your uniform."

"Well, thanks…" she giggled while giving her rump a bit of a shake. "It's Prench…"

"I bet it is," he chuckled before turning away and heading down the hall before she could ask for anything else. It wasn't that he didn't want to help out with her work, it was that Celestia had let slip about his magic bathing skills and now every filly and mare in the palace was begging to have a go.

Sad thing was that Celestia was actually contemplating an answer… god he hoped it was no!

Max had just rounded a corner, minding his own business when a male voice called out, "Royal Consort!" You know, he didn't mind Sunbutt giving him the title, but dammit, why did she have to make it a publicly known title? "Royal Consort Max Rex…" the human gave out a tired sigh and tried to ignore the voice, walking a bit faster.

"AH-TENNN-HUT!"

Max, and several of the guards stationed along the hall all snapped to attention, he did it out of reflex really… damn military brain washing. "Now that I have your undivided, Master Sergeant," a white unicorn male with blue mane barked as he trotted up and stood before the human. "I would like to talk to you about…"

"Oh it's you," Max relaxed. "How are thing going Shiny?"

"Did I say At-Ease," he snapped, his gaze boring up at the human. "Now then Royal Consort, I need to talk to you about your little trip to Ponyville."

"Let's get one thing straight, Prince Shining Armor, I'm not one of your guards, nor am I in the service anymore…" the human had to take a deep breath to calm the nerve that Shiny was now standing on. "On top of that, I've made it perfectly clear that while I don't mind the title Celestia saddled me with, I won't be ruled by it… if you wish to talk, my name is Max or T-Rex."

Both stood their ground, glaring at one another, until finally one of the nearby guards coughed.

"Fine," the new prince grunted. "Max, I have a few questions about the trip you took to Ponyville last week."

"Cool, what do you want to know," Max again relaxed and dropped the defensive tone in his voice.

"I want to know what happened between you and Twilight Sparkle," the unicorn demanded.

"Why would you want to know that," he blinked in mild confusion. "Here I thought you would have been upset that I took Celestia out to an unsecured town without guard protection…"

"We will get to that, but first, I want to know about Twilight!"

"Ummm, okay," the ex-Master Sergeant shrugged, not sure about the odd signals Shiny was giving off. "To start with, she's a really nice filly, but she's a complete teacher's pet. She's outgoing with hidden OCDs… Oh, and she's a bit of a moaner in bed."

"The reason I ask," Shining Armor hissed though clinched teeth. "Is that she is my little sister!"

"Oooohh fuck me…" Max suddenly felt like a harp seal looking down the wrong end of a club.

* * *

"Your Majesty, Your Majesty!"

Looking up from the paperwork splayed across her desk, the Sun Princess fond Dusty, one of the palace maids rushing into her office. "Hello Dusty," she gave a smile. "You seem to be distressed…"

"SirShiningArmorjusthadMaxtakenintocustodyandtakenaway!"

Celestia tilted her head in confusion, the maid panicked having blurted the whole sentience in one shot. "My dear, I can not understand a word you said," she said in her motherly tone. "please, calm down and try again."

Taking several deep breaths the maid closed her eyes and repeated "Sir Shining Armor just had Max taken into custody and taken away…"

"Oh, well this can't be good," the princess flinched. "I don't suppose you know why?"

"It had something to do with Miss Sparkle and being a moaner in bed…"

"Oh for buck sakes," Celestia gave out a tired sigh. "Was there anything else?"

"Max thought I looked cute in my uniform."

"Ok, that's not…" shaking her head, Celestia rose and trotted past Dusty to the door. "Mr. Thunder," she glanced toward the pegasi guard standing just outside the door.

"Yes ma'am," he snapped to attention.

"If you had a beloved little sister, and found out she was seeing a strange stallion," the princess asked, "Where would you take him to intimidate the Tartarus out of him?"

"Unbridled, Ma'am."

"At this hour," Dusty couldn't help but ask. "I didn't think that place opened until after 6pm."

"It's only open to the public between 6pm and 2am," the guard clarified. "But the bar is open 24-7 to off duty guards… and it has sound proof privet rooms"

"Ouch, Perfect place to intimidate somepony…" Dusty blanched.

"Right… Blue Thunder, gather a few guards and meat me at the palace gates," she stated before motioning to the maid. "Come along Dusty, I need you assistance."

"Yes My Princess," both announced, the guard galloping off down the hall while Dusty followed Celestia the other direction. "Pardon me your highness, but where are we going," she asked once she realized they were not heading towards the front doors of the castle.

"We are going to see the uniform supply-pony," she smiled impishly. "I want to see if she has a Prench maid's outfit in my size."

"Oh my," Dusty giggled.

* * *

The two bouncers that ambled about outside Unbridled froze in their hooves when Celestia, accompanied by 6 royal guards and a maid, marched up and glared down at them. "Is Shining Armor present at this establishment," she demanded, not at all looking happy…

"Y…yes ma'am," one of the bouncers whimpered as both bowed low.

"Did he have a tall hairless monkey with him?"

"Yes your highness," the other blurted out.

"Blue Thunder," she barked as she pushed her way into the establishment. "Be on alert, I want my Consort found and fast…"

"Ummm, pardon me," Dusty waved a hoof in the air, waiting until her princess nodded in her direction. "Could somepony tell me why I'm here?"

"er… I'm very sorry my dear," Celestia gave a weak smile, though the truth was that she had forgotten that Dusty was still with their little group. "You may return to the palace..."

As Dusty rushed off, Celestia turned and used her magic to fling open the front doors. Even though the place wouldn't be open to the public for another 4 hours, it was open round the clock to any and had a good assortment off duty guards within, so the lights were still turned down low and the music was thumping away as they made their way into the main room that was Unbridled. A horseshoe shaped bar sat in the middle of the floor while dance stages occupied each of the four corners of room… however only two were in use.

To the right, a young green mare danced around a pole, while on the left stage a beefy reddish stud shook his rear for all to see.

"Everypony, spared out and find Shining Armor and M…"

"Found them," Broadsword interrupted the Sun Princess as he pointed towards the bar.

Sure enough, Shining Armor sat atop a stool, belled up to the dark wooden bar. While Max stood on the other side and looked to be conversing with the bartender. "Max," Celestia called as she rushed over. "Are you ok?"

"Osh, I'z in twuble (hic) nhow…" Shining slurred before falling off his stool while trying to discreetly slip away.

"I'm doing fine," Max chuckled as he leaned over the bar to gaze at the unicorn now passed out on the floor. "Well, that went quicker than expected…"

"May I ask," she peered down at the drooling stallion. "Why is the head of my royal guard and husband to my niece doing on the floor?"

"Welllll, to be honest," the human smiled. "He brought me here to do who knows what, but I talked him into having a drink first, you know, to calm my nerves…"

"And," Celestia asked.

"I asked Absinthe here for a drink he had never heard of," he nodded to the bartender who nodded and waved back. "And being the nice stallion he is, he lets me make said drink and share it with Shiny…"

"And…" she pressed.

"Since I don't like to drink alcohol, I made us both a lemonade icey," there was a sheepish grin covering his face as he poked at the drink Shiny had been sipping. "However… I slipped him a mickey when he wasn't looking."

"So I take it that this is what you call a mickey," she sniffed at the half filled glass. "What is in it?"

"Slipping someone a Mickey, is code for spiking their drink with hard alcohol," he elaborated.

"Oh," she blanched. "Then what is this drink called?"

"Back home it's called a margarita," he said as he dipped the rim of a new glass into some crushed salt, than, as she watched he added lemonade/icey/slush before adding a shot or three of potato vodka and placing it before her. "But seeing as how the drink didn't exist on Equestria before two hours ago, I've renamed it a Celestia Sunrise."

Hesitantly the princess eyed the frosted drink before tentatively taking a sip. "Hmmm, that's not bad… but you do know that salt is a drug to my little ponies?"

"Yeah, Absinthe here explained that one to me while I was making the drinks."

"So…" she turned her attention back toward the unicorn on the floor. "How many did you give him before …this…?"

"He still hasn't finished his first," Max chuckled as he dumped Shinny's half full glass in the sink behind the bar."


	8. Cake

**Reviews:**

**ShiningShadow1965: All dem reviews!**

**RenaTamer: Dunno, think you could give it a try at guessing? :P**

**Also, instead of 'author comments' in the chapters, there'll be 'Mark's comments' as if it's being said to him. If it sounds like something I would write Mark saying/thinking in _MiE_ in here, he commented that.**

"And the frosting?"

"2 cups butter-softened, 4 cups confectioners' sugar, 3/4 cup baking cocoa, 1/2 cup milk," Max said as he added the ingredients into a bowl and placed said bowl into a mixer. "And whip the hell out of it as you add the milk."

"Here are the strawberries," a mare from the cooking staff announced. "1 pound of fresh, hollowed, strawberries."

"Why hollow out the strawberries," one of the line cooks asked as he scribbled down the recipe.

"So we can fill them with chocolate," Max smiled, comically wiggling his eyebrows. "Why the hell else would you hollow them out?"

Probably to put booze or something in it. I would.

"So, There you are!"

"Oh, hey Celestia," Max waved.

"Your Majesty," the entire cooking staff paused and bowed as the sun princess ventured into the kitchen.

"Please, my little ponies, there is no need for formalities," she smiled while stepping up to the human in the room. "I'm just here looking for my lost Consort."

"Lost… I'm not lost, I know exactly where I am…" he chuckled, taking a moment to shut off the whirring mixer. "I'm right here."

"Oooky," the princess rolled her eyes while a few of the kitchen staff giggled. "And why, pray tell, are you down here?"

Max was about to respond when a loud _ding_ interrupted him. Soon the entire room was filled with a yummy fragrance as two of the ponies went to work pulling the six round cake blanks from the ovens.

"Is that…" (Rum cake!~) Tia glanced about wildly, from the dark colored blanks being placed on a cooling rack, to the whipped frosting sitting in front of Max. "Are you helping them make me a Double Chocolate Surprise?"

"Two actually, your highness, and _we_ are helping _him_."

"Max," she turned her gaze back on the human who was smiling sheepishly. "Is this true?"

"It's my grandmother's recipe…" he nodded, swiping a finger through the whipped frosting. "I thought I'd surprise you by making something special for my special somepony." Goddamn I still find that weird to say.

"Oooh my," Celestia moaned in delight after taking a moment to lick the chocolate off his finger. "That is simply delectable."

"Well, I know how much you enjoy your cakes…" Max said as he continued to count off a few more of her devilish delights in his head. _'like funnel-cakes, cupcakes, donuts, sugar cookies with frosting on them…'_

"Am I really that easy to read?"

"Celestia, my dear…" he chuckled as she sucked the last of the frosting off his extended digit. He wanted to say something about seeing her eating cake for breakfast at least five times since he came to live at the palace, but he wasn't a complete moron. "What can I say, I take pride in knowing what my princess likes and needs."

"And you forget, that by concentrating, I can hear your thoughts…" a wicked little smile spread over her kissable lips. "And yes, I do love a good warm funnel-cake, topped with a generous amount of powdered sugar."

"I …crap…" he cringed.

"My Max is great, he makes me chocolate cake!" Celestia happily chirped in a sing-song voice, giving her rump a little shake as she turned and sashayed her way out of the kitchen. "My Max is great, soon I'll be eating chocolate cake!"


	9. Quick Story Explanations

_A peek into how I sometimes help Jak3 without realizing it_

_You, the readers, all know how Mark and Dawn introduced Nightmare Moon to Celestia, and the outcome of said meeting… Here was my side, or, Max's side of the events._

_To Jak3: I'm sure you have a plan on how to introduce Nightmare Moon to the rest of royal family, after all, she is an alicorn and a sister to Celestia and Luna… and I can't wait (I happen to like NMM)_

_And yet the bunnies decided otherwise… so there I was, early Friday morning and this popped into my head._

_Mark, Doc, Anon and Dawn meet up with Moon (yada,yada,yada, things happen), and for some half assed reason decided to take her before Celestia… _

.

"Are you sure I should be here," Max asked again for the umpteenth time. Currently he was sitting cross-legged on a pillow next to the high throne of Equestria.

"The biggest and hardest part about running a kingdom is presiding over court," Celestia stated while not letting her regal posture slip. "Every Tuesday and Thursday I hold open court so that my little ponies can come to me with their problems."

"While Luna holds Night Court every Wednesday and Friday, I get that," he gave a tired sigh. "What I don't get is why I'm here."

"Oh, well that's an easy answer," she smiled impishly. "To keep me company."

Max's only response was to roll his eyes, it was one of those, 'if I have to do it, so do you' kind of things. He was still contemplating using the bathroom excuse to sneak off when the huge doors to the throne room burst open as Mark and Dawn marched in, followed by a lot of armed guards and a tall black alicorn.

"What is the meaning of this," the royal secretary barked from the base of the throne platform. She was about to place herself between the on-comers and her ledge when…

"Nightmare Moon!" Celestia hissed in anger as she sprang to her hooves.

(Yada,yada,yada, heated words said,)

"NO, I will not allow her evil to spread," Celestia snarled as her horn glowed brightly. "She corrupted my beloved sister and tried to destroy me and Equestria. I WILL NOT LET HER DO IT AGAIN!"


	10. Dancing

"So the Night sisters chose you to train as a Dream Warrior," the Night Guard asked as he guided Mark through the halls of Canterlot castle.

"Not just me," he said as he fell into step with the guard. "There will be six of us."

"Six huh, so why are you the only one showing up?"

"I'm not really sure, something about wanting to see me before the special training begins tonight."

"huh," the guard gave a sigh as they came to a 'T' junction in the hall. "To think that humans will be crawling around the dream realm…"

"Hold on a sec," Mark paused, tilting his head slight. "Do you hear that?"

"huh," the Night Guard asked, his own ears perking up.

"It sounds like…" the man slowly turned around in a tight circle, before marching off down a side hallway. "That's human music."

"But General Durnkinscoff," the guard quickly trotted after. "Princess Luna and Princess Moon are waiting the other way…"

"And they will wait for me, I assure you," Mark said as he came up to a door that had a rhythmic thumping coming from it. Pulling the door open he and the guard were assaulted less by the music, then by the sight before them.

_"Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (let me see, let me see ya do the cupid)_  
_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do the shuffle baby yeah)_  
_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (woah woah oh oh)_  
_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey hey hey hey yeah yeah)"_

"That's it Tia," Max called out over the music. "Now put some bounce in that booty!"

"Oh my," the Sun Princess giggled, using her wings the same way Max used his arms to shimmy from side to side. "This is so exhilarating!"

_"To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right_  
_To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left_  
_Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick_  
_Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself (let me see you do)"_

"Holy…" Mark's jaw nearly hit the floor as he watched Max and Celestia dancing to the Cupid Shuffle. Now, of all the dance songs that they could have used, at least the shuffle was something that ponies could groove to. Unfortunately for the General, both the dancers had their backs to him so he had an unobstructed view of the sun princess shaking her white rump to the beet.

_"Now you see what I'm talking about_  
_I represent for the dirty south_  
_Where we known for swinging out _  
_I'm gone show you what I'm talking about…_

_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey hey)_  
_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (a let me see ya do the cupid, shuffle the cupid cupid shuffle)" _  
_Down, down, do your dance, do your dance…_

"I…I…" the guard repeated over and over as Mark shut the door. Both were starring at the closed obstacle numbly.

"I did not need to see that," the human shook his head and sighed, headed back the way he came.

"She was…" the pony murmured as he followed. "It was a very nice view though."


	11. Shit

**This story's chapters will be all over the place, so eh. And I won't alter what Rena sends me, so bear with his dyslexia.**

"Oh buck me…" Max gave out a groan as reality slowly forced it way into his tired mind.

"nmmm… not so loud," Celestia whimpered from nearby.

"Sorry, I'll be quieter," he whispered, forcing an eye open… to an odd world of creamy white. As his sight adjusted, he found his attention suddenly focused on… a pair of… Boobs? 'What the fuck?' his mind asked, when the alabaster pillow beneath his head suddenly took a deep breath.

"why do I ache all over," the impressively large tits asked, the person they were attached to, tried to sit up yet couldn't do to a heavy weight of her chest and his head on her belly.

As Max watched on, she tilted her head Looking down her body and was startled by the sight of two very large round globes that had sprouted from her chest. "By the ancients," she breathed out in shock, however it was the face just beyond that grabbed at her attention…

The scream rattled in Max's ears and stomped on his already frazzled nerves. Meanwhile the woman had backpedaled from him in a frantic attempt to get away, only to fall off the bed in a heap of blankets and limbs.

"Holly fuck," he snarled, trying to cover his ears yet couldn't seem to get his hands to work right. "Do you have to screech like that so early in the fucking morning?"

"Max?"

Slowly the Master Sergeant crawled over to the edge of the bed and peered down. The young woman looked to be in her mid 30's and was very beautiful. She had dainty feet attached to long toned legs and nice hips, from there she had an hourglass waist that flared to not quite a "D" cup breasts, thin neck, large magenta eyes, and long strawberry blond hair that cascaded down past her backside…

"Celestia," he blinking in mild disbelief… once he saw the twin sun's that sat prominently on her hips.

"Is that you, of cores it's me," both echoed each other.

"But you're a Human…"

"But you're an Alicorn…"

There was silence in the room for a split secant, and then all hell broke loose.

"Human," she screeched as she began looking herself over.

At the same moment Max was doing the same thing, his mind almost not comprehending the fact that he now had four legs tipped with thick hooves, a coat of almost snow white fur, large wings and long spiraled horn, and to top it off… Celestia's long flowing multi-colored main n tail.

It was at that precise moment, that the door to Max's room burst open as three guards barged their way in, followed closely by Princess Luna. "What in the name of our mother is going on…here," the princess of the night trailed off once she took in the oddity before her.

Celestia and Max glanced back n forth between Luna and themselves, yet before either could say a thing, Lulu shook her head. "No, just …no…" she stated as she turned and marched back out of the room.

.

.

"This is not THAT funny dear sister." Celestia grumped, while Max sat next to her, ears flat and head hung low…

"Oh, but you have to emit that it is," Luna gasped between giggle fits. "It gives a new meaning to 'walking a mile in somepony else's hooves'."

"Yeah, right, the only problem is that we can't turn back," Max gave out a sarcastic snort. "She's now a human, and I don't know magic… really hilarious."

"So, have you two taken your new forms for a test drive," Jeremy asked. "You know, to see if you two are sill compatible?"

"You have haven't you," Lulu suddenly gasped when both Tia and Max turned bright red. "It's not even lunch time and you have already been foaling around?"

"So I have to ask, Max," Mr Airborne asked as he and his night princess began to crack up again. "What's it like to be hung like a horse?"

"Luna, Jeremy…" Celestia started.

"Oh come on, we're just trying to stirrup alittle trouble…"

"You'll just have to forgive my sister," Luna smirked as she and her human poked fun of the changed couple. "She's just being an old nag."

"I guess they're just not feeling their oats," Williams' added with a chuckle.

"Are you two stable…" Max began, only to face-hoof. "Oh god, Now they have me doing it."

"It's ok," Sunbutt reached over and scratched her Consort between the ears. "Let's get out of here before this gets out of hoof."

"Well, you whinny some, you lose some." Luna giggled.

"Ssshhh, don't provoke the neigh-sayers." Jeremy chuckled.

"Oh, That was just offal."

"What can I say, I'm bucking the trend."

"I'm so glad I was saddled with…"

At that point the door to the dining room had thankfully closed leaving the Human Celestia and Pony Max in relative silence as they walked together down the brightly lit hall. In point of fact, the sun princess was still trying to find her balance, having two legs was a bit of a put off, so she was leaning heavily on her Consort when they turned a corner and nearly bumped into Cadence and Shining Armor.

"Celestia," Cadence blinked in surprise at the human woman who was dressed in a makeshift toga, not even taking note of the huge male alicorn. "What the buck happened?"

"Ask Luna," was all she said while walking away.

"What do you think that was all about…" the princess of love turned to question her husband, only to find him wide eyed and shaking uncontrollably. "Shiny… are you ok?"

"Cadence, honey…" he flashed her a weak smile. "I've been a baaaaad pony…"

(a few minutes and one confession later.)

Klunk-klunk-klunk

"I got it," Max said while moving over to the door, however once there he found himself staring blankly at the knob…

Klunk-klunk-klunk "Aunt Celestia, are you in there?"

"…Crap…"

"Max is something…" Celestia started to ask from where she sat on the edge of his bed, yet at seeing his head and ears slowly droop she couldn't help but giggle. "Can't seem to figure out how work the knob without hands, can you?"

"Geeze, Rub it in why don't you," he grumped before calling out. "Who is it?!"

"Max, it's me, Cadence," the voice on the other side called back.

The human sun princess smiled while slipping back into the toga she had on earlier. Once dressed she gently pushed him aside and cracked open the door. "Hello, yes?"

"Hey Aunty, can we come in," the love princess asked as she pulled her husband closer. "If you're not busy that is."

From behind the door Max quickly shook his head 'no', however Tia's smile grew impish. "Please come in," she opened the door all the way and waited for the two ponies to enter. "And no, we were just talking about… things."

"So what do we owe for the pleaser," the alicorn behind the door asked.

"I'm afraid that my idiot of a husband has gone and done something completely rash," Cadence sighed as she dragged said pony into the middle of the room.

"And that would be, what," Celestia arched an eyebrow, trying to cross her arms over her chest but do to its ample size, she had to settle for under… which only made her breasts seem bigger.

"Well…" the pink princess glared at Shiny, but when he wouldn't say anything she continued. "Then I will tell them," she gave a disapproving sigh. "It seems that after Shining recovered from the hangover Max gave him, he went out and bought some joke powder… made from the poison joke flower."

"The poison… what now," Max asked.

"Poison Joke is a magical plant that causes ridicule-inducing afflictions on any pony who come into contact with it," Celestia clarified before shooting a disapproving glance at the white unicorn in the room. "However, the powdered version's affects are supposed to be only temporary, lasting an hour at best if used correctly."

"But we've been like this for the better part of the day," the Master Sergeant pointed out.

"So the question now is," she stepped closer to Shining, kneeling to look him in the eyes. "How much did you use?"

"…"

"I didn't quite get that," she said, "a little louder please?"

"I used the whole bag," he was shivering as he spoke.

"By Celestia," Cadence gasped in shock. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"It's his fault all this happened," Shining Armor cried out defensively as he pointed a hoof out at the male alicorn in the room.

"My fault?" Max flinched back in disbelief, only to be shushed by Celestia.

"…Explain…" was all the sun princess said.

"It all started with a letter from Twilight, telling me how she met a human who she really liked, how she would swoon when he touched her." he said while glaring daggers at the much larger Max. "When you and your HUMAN, here, returned from ponyville, I tried to ask him a question…" with that his backend slumped to the floor as Shining took on a dejected look. "When he said that Twilight was a moaner in bed… I guess I lost it."

"Wait," Max tilted his head in wonder. "You thought that Sparklebutt and I were screwing around?"

"Well, weren't you?" the prince demanded.

"No, Schmidt is the one banging your sister…"

"Banging…" Shiny growled beep in his throat.

"Shining Armor, while Max could have answered your question better," Celestia stepped between the two males. "It does not change the fact that he only slept with me the whole time we stayed in Ponyville."

"But…" Shining was suddenly really confused.

"First, it was commendable of Twilight Sparkle to inform you that she has found her significant somepony," Tia stated in her motherly voice. "Considering that you never informed your own sister that you were dating until a few days before your wedding,"

"errr… well I, ummm" he stammered.

"Second, I understand that as her older brother, you would want to protect Twilight," gently Celestia reached up and softly bopped his snout with a finger. "But as the Captain of MY Royal Guard, and a prince, I expected a bit more decorum from you."

"I'm…I'm sorry," Shining whimpered.

"Max?"

"Fine," the alicorn rolled his eyes before nodding to the disheveled stallion. "I accept your apology, and I'm sorry for what I said."

"There we go," Tia smiled as she looked to the now much relieved Cadence. "Now I take it there is an antidote that came with the joke powder?"

"errr, about that…" Shiny began to shiver again. "It was sold out…"


	12. Zombies?

Slowly they began to appear, first one, then three, then many. They stumbled from the shadows and shambled along the darkened streets of Ponyville, all heading in a single direction. They ambled along unimpeded and unnoticed for the tiny village still slumbered, Luna's moon hanging just above the mouton's to the west.

As they descended on their destination, driven by a singular need, they began to merge into small groups. Outside Ponyville's one and only bakery, they began to bump and stumble into other small groups, quickly converging into a hoard of mindless beings, driven on by one coherent thought. Together then crashed like a wave against the locked front door of Sugarcube Corner, the bakery with the sweet name.

And just as the hoard began to grow irritated at the wooden obstacle, the sun poked its first rays of morning over the horizon and there was a click from the lock. As one they surged forth, forcing themselves past the doorway and filling the room beyond. The bright lights above caused the first to enter too flinch and cover their bloodshot eyes, yet they continued on towards the counter at the other side of the room and the bouncing pink pony who happily cheered then on.

"Come in, come in, everypony is welcome," she giggled. "There are fresh doughnuts and crawlers on the tables, along with suggestion cards. Please help yourselves and let us know how we can enhance your experience here at the corner."

However, the mass of humanity only cared for one thing at the moment and one by one they began to chant their need as they surged forward. "Coffee… Coffee… COFFEE!"

Moments later Mark, the leader of Ponyville's human military, barged in demanding to know what the hell was going on. To his astonishment he found almost all of his troops clustered within the shop, smiles on their faces as they contently munched on doughnuts and sipped at their mugs.

Taking pity on the General, Luke stepped around the counter and handed him a fresh mug. "So, what do you think, Sir?" he asked and waited for Mark to take a sip.

"Holy shit," he blinked in dismay while regarding the obsidian liquid. "There is no way this is the instant shit out of the MRE's!"

"No Sir," Gallan smiled back. "Pinkie found out that the burrows of South Equestria still grow and use the coffee bean, so she ordered a large shipment along with her cocoa beans." He said as he looked around at all the happy humans. "And as it turns out, while I'm all thumbs in the kitchen, that I know how to brew up a mean cup of joe."

"Isn't this great," Pinkie beamed from the counter. "My Lukey found he has a talent."

"I have to emit, this is dam good," Mark nodded, yet in his mind there was a flashback to a pink Alicorn and her reaction to Coffee. "Wait, what about the ponies?"

"It seems the fresh ground bean coffee doesn't affect the ponies like the instant shit does," Gallan reassured his commanding officer. "Seems it's something in the dehydrated powder that may have caused Cadence to go batshit."

"And you know this how?"

"We asked Twilight to do a study on the effects of coffee before we even thought of serving it," the pink wonder giggled as she darted about the shop refilling any mug held out to her. "She says its okey-dokey for ponies… Anypony else need a refill?"

Mark shrugged and held out his now empty mug, while Gallan watched his hyper pony happily bound around the shop refilling empty mugs.


End file.
